PILLOWBITER began in 2023 out of the remnants of an old bedroom music project called The Beautiful Child; frontwoman Sasha had recorded two short albums as TBC starting in 2019. She relocated to Brooklyn from Atlanta in 2021, and also started her gender transition. Based on her experiences and struggles through that, she started to write new songs. Eventually these would become the PILLOWBITER EP.

Their first show was in August 2024 and their EP was released in May 2025, and now they are looking to record a full length release sometime next year. Sasha describes it as a major catharsis for her to play in this band and make this music. She deeply believe that bands, especially punk bands, need to say something politically meaningful, or else they don’t have legs to stand on. It’s her hope with PILLOWBITER to bring some much needed catharsis to the trans community - in her words, “we need space to be angry and upset”. But she refuses to let it end there - anything the band can do in terms of advocacy or to benefit the trans+ community is part of the mission, and Sasha makes a point to speak on it at all of their shows.

Welcome Sasha! What is the significance or inspiration behind the name PILLOWBITER?

Sasha: We liked the idea of taking a queer pejorative and subverting its meaning. As a queer person, you get used to having all kinds of names lobbed at you. I've been called a faggot, tranny, he-she, sissy... every name under the sun. I think it's interesting to conjure the image of a "pillowbiter" and then associating it with a really aggressive sound. You expect weakness or frailty, but you get just the opposite. So it's a kind of reclaiming, as marginalized groups are so often fond of doing.

You started as "The Beautiful Child" (TBC) in 2019. Can you describe the creative and emotional shift that led you to retire TBC and start PILLOWBITER in 2023?

We actually still sometimes play a few old Beautiful Child songs (Fall To Earth, Rot, Bleed Out, Bring Me Death). When we first started, we just needed enough songs to play a full set live. I'm still fond of those tracks, for sure, but as I kept writing songs and dialing in the sound I wanted to create, it made more sense to just start over as something new entirely. The Beautiful Child kinda didn't know what it wanted to be, if that makes sense. Is it death metal or grindcore or powerviolence or thrash? I kind of just wrote any song that came to me, and didn't really worry about conceptual consistency. But once the music went from a solo project to a full band, and I figured out what kind of band to be, it became clear it had to be PILLOWBITER.

Having spent a decade in the Atlanta music scene, what differences and similarities have you experienced in the Brooklyn music scene since relocating in 2021?

When I was coming up, Atlanta had a great music scene. I'm sure it still does. Back then, there were a lot of screamo or emoviolence bands, so many amazing great house shows and DIY spaces. It was a great time, and I was in and out of a ton of bands. I think, in that era in general, no matter what city you were in, the scenes were a lot more DIY. Nowadays, we're all pretty venue dependent. Which has its pros and cons, for sure. I think that's one difference. But also I guess just the types of heavy music people were into. It's interesting to watch how sounds change over time. Eventually the music I was making drifted away from punk and more into post hardcore, math rock, indie rock, etc. Over time, I lost touch with the punk scene in Atlanta. So when I moved to New York, I sought it out, hoping to get back in touch with my musical roots, and I'm really happy with what I found. The scene here is so active and vibrant. There are so many incredible bands around. I find myself at shows 2 or 3 times a week, on top of the ones we play. New York has deep roots in hardcore, and it was exciting to discover how it comes to life today.

TBC was about getting back into punk and metal. How has the specific focus on punk, hardcore, grindcore, and powerviolence with PILLOWBITER allowed you to express things you couldn't before?

Honestly, I'm just better at writing songs now, haha. I like all kinds of heavy music, so my writing process still incorporates a lot of different influences, which I think in turn impacts our sound, and kind of makes it harder to pin down. It's not strictly "hardcore", right, because what are we even talking about when we use that word? And there's flickers of grind or powerviolence or crust or sludge or scramz in there too. So while I'm writing, I'll sometimes write a song and know that it's NOT a PILLOWBITER song. It'll be a fine idea, but it won't mesh conceptually. So I guess I've gotten better at letting go of those ideas and sticking to what feels the strongest. Every PILLOWBITER song that makes it to the stage goes through a pretty long revision process. And having the guys there to bounce the songs around with makes a world of difference too. Lachlan's drumming style is completely integral to our sound, for example. We'd be a different band with a different drummer, full stop. And Evan is a fucking expert in the vibe. If I send a new demo to Evan and he doesn't reply with a "fuck yeah!" then I'll know that song isn't a keeper. He just has the instinct. And Michael comes from a different sort of musical background than the rest of us, so he brings his unique flavor into the mix. Plus he's got the fastest hands I've ever seen.

So there's a lot of talent among us that really impacts the final result, and I'm so here for it. Making music is about bonding with friends as much as it is about artistic expression. The solo project had the latter, but PILLOWBITER has it all. Love my guys, for real for real.

Another big difference is the message. The Beautiful Child was a pre-transition project, and while there are hints of dysphoria in the music, it was mostly about my discontent with society and the impact religion had on my life. But with PILLOWBITER, it's for the dolls.

The current lineup—Lachlan (drums) and Michael (guitar)—came from papi shiitake. What was the moment or conversation where you realized you should form a new project focused on heavier genres?

Okay, so it was funny. We had just met, and started playing music together, Alex (Papi Shiitake) having found us all individually and brought us together. One night at practice, Lachlan mentioned the band ACxDC (Antichrist Demoncore) and I was like "Whoa, you're into that kind of thing?" and he was like, "Oh fuck yeah." And from there I knew he'd be a great collaborator. And sometimes we'd steer rehearsals into these insane jams, totally derailing things (sorry Alex, haha). And Michael was there getting into it with us. Eventually I played them some demos I'd been working on, and they both were really excited about them and wanted to be involved. I was still pretty new to NYC at the time, and was happy to just be playing music again. And Papi's songs are really great. I loved playing bass in that band. But of course, when you've got the opportunity to make your own sound with musicians as talented as Michael and Lachlan, you take that opportunity.

Evan joined on bass to complete the current lineup. How did he connect with the band's sound and mission, and what does he bring to PILLOWBITER?

Like I said before, Evan is our vibe expert. He just loves punk and hardcore. He lives and breathes it. We actually met on Tinder originally. My bio said "I'm not looking for dates, I'm looking for someone to start a powerviolence band." And he replied. Then we met IRL at a Ceremony show and were friends immediately. So when the band started, I knew he'd be perfect.

You mention that your gender transition and subsequent struggles were a major catalyst for the songs on the debut EP. How directly do your lyrics tackle your personal experiences as a trans woman?

Virtually every PILLOWBITER song is about the transfeminine experience. The emotions, the struggles, the joy, the violence, the rage. All of it. And that's what shows on the EP. "Sex Repulsed" is about how awful sex and dating is for trans women, based on my own experiences. Guys who want to fuck you, but would never introduce you to their family. Who think they can use your body for a fantasy and completely ignore the person inside. Not good enough to be loved, only to be a means to an end. "Castration Desire" is about the struggle of accepting your desire to alter your body. I think a lot of trans women (or transitioning people, more broadly) struggle with that-- wanting to want it. Because the world has tried to convince us at every turn that it's wrong to crave these changes, that transition is mutilation. But in reality, it is freedom. And so with that song, I am asking the world to reconsider the discourse around surgical transition. "Dead Name Haunting" is a simple one about feeling haunted by the past and a name no longer used. "This World Is Bullshit" is about fighting back to survive. "I Hate My Cock" is pretty self explanatory, haha. I really wanted an anthem for the girlies with bottom dysphoria. And then "Die Blanchard" is an indictment of Ray Blanchard, the sexologist who came up with the paraphilia model of transsexuality. I could talk at length about how damaging his work has been on the community, but I won't do that now because I don't want to be pissed off.

We've also got a bunch of new songs we're playing live already, and working on for our first full length. "Forced Masculinity", "Lost Dolls", "Genital Inspection"– among others. So there's plenty of subject matter to write about for the foreseeable future, though we do have one or two about other issues.

You describe playing in PILLOWBITER as a "major catharsis." Can you elaborate on what that feeling of catharsis is like for you, and how you hope to translate that feeling to the audience?

I mean, screaming for 20 minutes to a room full of people banging their heads and moshing will do that! Being at the helm, guiding an audience through a show and inviting them to feel what you feel, and then having them embrace it and have fun with it ... that's the best part of the whole thing. In the world as it is today, full of disappointments, full of bad news, full of despair, it's so easy to feel alone. I can't think of a better remedy for that loneliness than being at a show, in community with people just like you, who care about all of the same things. That's why I make it a point to talk about what the band is about, what we stand for. People long for meaning and connection. And while I have a platform, I think it's important to communicate to people what I find meaningful, and to invite them to connect with me. It makes me feel less alone as much as it does anyone else. We need each other in this way. That meaning can change from band to band, but we're all looking for the same thing, and it's a connection.

You state a deep belief that punk bands need to say something politically meaningful. What specific political message(s) are you prioritizing in PILLOWBITER's music and platform right now?

In short, queer liberation, anti-capitalism, and the details therein. But in another way, it's about capturing the emotions that result from our mutual oppression. We stand against transphobia, fascism, monoculture, genocide, ecocide, ableism, racism, sexism, and so much more.

The mission is to bring much needed catharsis to the trans community, giving people space to be angry and upset. Why is this so important for the trans community's well-being and visibility in the music scene?

There's a lot of pressure on trans people to perform their gender to perfection. God forbid a trans woman moves with a suspicious lack of grace, or laughs with a deep register. To make our way through the world, we are forced to be mindful of our every single move. It's totally fucked. Sometimes, I'll do something as simple as sit in a chair and panic... "Was that mannish of me??" I'll suppress my own laughter because I'm nervous it's going to get me clocked. It's fucking exhausting and it's not fair. I'm a person just like everyone else. I can't always perform gender to perfection, as society would have it. Not to mention any time a trans woman gets angry, people are so quick to lob accusations of "immutable male socialization" that should for some reason preclude us from womanhood whatsoever. That shit pisses me off so much. So the trans punks need the outlet to get pissed. Just to let it all out. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a bunch of beautiful trans people dancing with us. Let it out, babies. I love you all so much.

Besides speaking at shows, what other avenues or actions does PILLOWBITER hope to pursue to fulfill the mission of advocacy and benefit the trans+ community?

I think it means prioritizing benefit shows and other community actions. Advocacy work needs art and it needs boots on the ground. The more those things can come together in pursuit of a common goal, the better. And we're inclined to be a part of it as much as possible.

Your self-titled EP came out in May 2025. For someone new to the band, how would you describe the sound of the EP, and what track serves as the best introduction to PILLOWBITER?

It's hard to categorize your own music. I tend to call us a powerviolence band because that feels the closest, but I also recognize we stray from what some people would think of as canonical powerviolence. Fast and loud and angry should suffice as adjectives. I think "Castration Desire" captures the idea pretty well and works as a good first stop for a listener.

For the uninitiated, can you explain what sets powerviolence and grindcore apart from standard hardcore, and how you incorporate those elements into your songwriting?

Well, hardcore can be so many things. It's kind of a universe of music, and I think powerviolence and grindcore live within that universe. But I guess I'd just say it's just heavier and faster than "standard hardcore." But these distinctions are only helpful to an extent. If a band wants to claim a label, then that's what they are, as far as I'm concerned. I think of us as a punk band, first and foremost.

Your first show was in August 2024. What was that initial show like, and what was the audience's reaction to hearing PILLOWBITER's intense, politically-charged music for the first time?

Our first show was at a feminist anarchist bookstore, which was the fucking perfect launch for us. It's like poetry, honestly. Our friend Nate (vocalist of No Weapon) booked and hosted, and he makes it a point to platform diverse bands with strong political messages. So I'm grateful to him for giving us that opportunity. It was a pretty small show, all the lights were on, and all kinds of people were there. We were still figuring out our sound and stage presence at the time. But since we're all pretty seasoned musicians, I think we put on a pretty fun show. I remember looking out into the crowd and seeing people's faces enjoying it. Some two-steppers were getting into it. That was really affirming. I remember thinking, "Okay, we're on to something here."

You make a point of speaking on trans issues at all your shows. How do you balance the intensity of the music with those moments of spoken word advocacy?

I think it comes pretty naturally. The band will stop and take a breath, tune up, and that'll give me a chance to introduce ourselves and our songs. Lately, I've been taking a moment to talk before our song "Lost Dolls," which I dedicate to all of the trans women who have come before me and lost their lives just for being themselves. It's a problem that is still happening. I want to celebrate those women, acknowledge that loss, and make sure everyone takes a moment to think about the violence against our community. We are literally fighting for our lives. And sometimes we lose that fight. It's important to acknowledge that as we continue to work toward justice.

When performing live, what feeling or action do you hope to elicit most from the people in the pit and those watching from the back?

Hey, a punk show is a punk show. Punks are gonna do punk things. So if our music gets you to dance or mosh or scream, then we've done our job. And if you're just sitting back and listening, I hope you like what you hear.

You are looking to record a full-length album next year. How will the thematic scope and musical complexity of the LP expand beyond what you explored on the EP?

Lyrically, it'll be consistent with the EP. Sonically, we've started to explore longer or more complicated songs. We even have a slow banger in the mix that I'm very excited to record. And there's a couple of tracks that breach the 2 minute mark, which is hard to do for a band like us. But we also keep the sound where we like it—so it'll absolutely sound like a PILLOWBITER record, and what people have come to expect from us. But one of my goals for writing this full length was to have each song do something a little bit different from the last. So there's a range of grooves and tempos that I think will be satisfying to a listener. Hopefully it stays interesting enough to listen straight through. I tend to write music with an album concept in mind. So this one has a kind of motif or musical through-thread running through it. Above all, it's gonna be heavy as shit.

Since writing the EP, how has your approach to songwriting or your lyrical focus changed in preparation for the new album?

Basically, what I do is, I try to write a song I haven't written before. So I'll look at the body of songs I've got and I'll challenge myself to explore a new way in. And I'll consider bands that I admire as I do this. I'll listen to a lot of songs and think I wonder what would happen if I started a song with a groove similar to this one? How could I make it different? Or I'll like the structure of a song and I'll emulate it, but then put my own twist on it. So I tend to create roadmaps and then see where they lead, or let them stray to different areas if the song requires it. But they always start with the drums, and I build guitar parts around that.

As for lyrics, I keep a folder in my phone of song titles, and those tend to be the concepts for lyrics. For example, I knew I wanted to write a song called "Genital Inspection" eventually, because it's a real threat the community faces, and I think we should talk about it. But I didn't have any music in mind when I thought of that concept. Months later I recorded an instrumental demo, and then flipped through my list of song titles, and thought, yeah this one sounds like genital inspection. That's how it usually happens. I just sort of catch a vibe and then match things up accordingly.

If you could open for any three bands (past or present) that embody the energy and message of PILLOWBITER, who would they be and why?

Impossible to pick just three. His Hero Is Gone, Converge, Disrupt, me and him call it us, G.L.O.S.S., Nails, Dead In The Dirt, Punch, Limp Wrist... so many more. Some of these bands have an emotional pull that I really love. Like they hit you in the feels, and I think that's cool. It's not just angry, it's sad. That's an interesting emotional complexity, and I like that to show up in our music too. But I also love the pure fury of these bands. It just makes you want to whoop ass and that's really satisfying.

Given the band's strong political and communal mission, how will you ultimately define success for PILLOWBITER—is it press, record sales, or something else entirely?

Once we play Coachella then I'll know we've made it. lol. Though that is kind of a rad thing to think about. Imagine a world where a band like ours belonged at a festival like that. Jokes aside, the only real goal is to find joy in the process. Being in a band is a ton of work, but it's a labor of love. So it's just about building connections and community, and if that leads to something sustainable, I would be grateful. But that's not the reason why we do it.

Anyone you’d like to thank?

Thank you to anyone who has or will ever book us. Thank you to everyone who has or will ever come to a show or buy a t-shirt or listen to the songs. Thank you to every band we have or will ever play with. And thank you for the invitation to talk about our band <3

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